Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
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