Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
