i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
