so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
