haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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