...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
