i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
