He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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