you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
