I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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