I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
