Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize