I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize