my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
