i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
