Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
