Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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