so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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