girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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