i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
