Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's the barista slut.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize