i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
