I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
