i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
