Cold hands, warm shart.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
