Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
