Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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