i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
