I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
