Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We have started to decorate penises.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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