My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
