You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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