I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
