is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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