yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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