can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
