she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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