I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
pray to the hookup gods
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
