Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
