No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
