Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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