Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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