i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They took my balls.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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