Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
