lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
