eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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