'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize