My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
