i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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