i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
