dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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