Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
