wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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