So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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