Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
