Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
