the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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