you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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